Note to Self, RE: popcorn and telephones

Note to self:

When popping a bag of microwave popcorn, do not, I repeat, do not, push the four minute timer (which is about two minutes too much) and then commence talking on the phone.  You will forget that there is a ticking time bomb of exploding corn in your microwave.

Then, when you realize your serious neglect of said popcorn, stop the microwave immediately.

This next step is crucial.  Do. Not. Open the bag out of simple morbid curiosity.  It is not worth the little peek at the smoldering blackened kernels.  It will only lead to crazy smoking and stinking up of your home that will linger for days.

Your next move should not be to yell and shove the smoking bag into the closed garage.  Even though it will save your house from some of the burned scent, your garage will smell like a burning corn field for at least a week.  And that, my friends, is not pretty.